Let me tell you about my best friend
So if you read my first post, you know a little (maybe a little too much) about me. But now I want you to get to know my best friend, life partner and soul mate. He’s my husband (I really don’t like that word and I can’t even begin to explain why). Do y’all have random words you just hate or is that just my weirdness? Oh well, this story isn’t about me anyway so moving on…
His name is Jeff, or Jeffery, or Jiffy depending on who you are and how well you know him. He’s the hardest working man I know and certainly the most patient, or I would be dead. He hasn’t always been this way though. Jeff also grew up having never seen his father’s face and only just a few years ago learned his name. He was born to a single teenage mom who loved him enough to know she couldn’t do this job on her own. Jeff was raised primarily by his grandparents and although they loved him wholeheartedly, it didn’t stop him from seeking outside sources to fill the void in his heart.
At an early age Jeff, as smart as he truly is, found himself disinterested in school and very interested in drugs. Smoking pot was first and later he turned to much harder things like cocaine and meth. That along with drinking and partying led to many hard years for this good hearted man.
And I do mean good hearted. Deep inside he wanted more for himself but honestly did not feel worthy of anything better. He was full of insecurities and hated himself which took him deeper into the substance abuse to numb the pain. He, like me, knew of God thanks to loving grandparents, but did not know that this God he’d heard about was a very real person who loved him beyond his understanding. He couldn’t have accepted that yet anyway. All he saw in himself was a reject that would never have anything. He stuck that label to himself and carried that around for a very long time. And things got much worse before they got better. He quit school and went to work for his uncle’s painting business. His grandfather told him if he wasn’t in school he was going to work so for a drug addicted high school drop-out, joining the family painting business was the safest bet. A handful of the family knew about his activities and even had their own addictions so he felt they were his safe place. But truly it may have been more of a vicious cycle they were all stuck in.
I met Jeff when I was only 16 and he was just turning 20. His insecurities mingled with mine to make a loving, yet very toxic relationship.
We’ll get into that tragic story in the next post.
But one last thing…even though this all sounds so hard and heartbreaking, God was working in the background. He was there with us though we did not know it yet.