No more unspoken broken

Sitting out here in the early morning hours with so many thoughts in my head. 

Ever sit and try to filter through it all? Like which is God’s voice, which is your own? 

And behind all of that is the loud static of life and decisions and frustrations and to-do lists and expectations and failures and, and AND!!! 

....until you can’t breathe. 

I feel a bit like that today. I feel a bit broken today.
I feel like shattered glass with jagged edges. Edges so jagged that if you were touch just the right spot, I’d cut right into you. 

I bet you want to ask me “Did you have your quiet time today?

Yes. I’ve spent the last hour or so in scripture, reading a devotion and prayer. 

I just have days like this. I imagine if we’re all honest, we all have days like this. But some of us are too “righteous” to admit it, or we feel the fear of judgement if we announce our imperfections or expose the dark places our minds tend to go. 

You might be willing to admit you “don’t have it all together” as the Christian cliche goes. But are you willing to be more specific?

Are you willing to admit your fears? Acknowledge your pride? Expose your selfishness? Break open the wounds so that the infection of hate and anger can bleed out and be healed? 

Right now, I want to give you permission to admit your brokenness. If you don’t think you have a safe place, make me that place. 
You’re safe here.

Hit that reply button and tell me about it. I can’t fix it. But I can pray to the One who can. 

God has not left us because we feel this way. I am not any less of a Christian because I feel this way. 

God is allowing me to acknowledge the places in me that are still in the process of healing. He is reminding me that He is still working and I am still growing. 

That even though I have accomplished some awesome things, I still need Him. 

He is giving me a connection to everyone else who is not afraid to admit that they struggle. 
He once told me who I am. I was pleading with Him to tell me!  I needed to know! I felt like a nobody and a fraud. 

And after some silence He said “you love the broken ones” 
I can’t remember exactly, but I’m almost sure I cried. I had never been more sure of myself than in that moment.

 I do love the broken ones. I AM the broken one. I LOVE the stories of redemption because that means someone was first willing to admit they are broken and that God still made something out of that messy life! 

Through that, in an otherwise lonely world, I somehow feel connected. 

You’re gonna have days like this. Talk to Him about it. Talk to a trustworthy friend about it. 
Feelings are made to be felt. So feel them. You’re not doing anyone any good by pretending they’re not there. 

Then surrender them to God and let Him make something out of it. Because I’m here to tell you He will.

Life can’t be about being good enough, but instead believing there is God enough—God enough for whatever our own humanity needs grace for. Today’s bread is enough bread, today’s grace is enough grace, today’s God is enough God.  Devotion 48 The Broken Way -Ann Voskamp